Sie und ihre Pläne

EDUN S/S 2012 campaign

2012-02-10T19:21:00.001+01:00

Beautiful!

8th March

2012-02-09T12:33:00.003+01:00

Great job by Sofia Coppola. I'm looking forward to this collection. African inspired prints? Yes please!

Dark

2011-12-19T03:13:00.001+01:00

but awesome.

On the beauty and importance of traveling

2011-10-06T12:52:00.002+02:00

Read my article on HelloGiggles.com : http://hellogiggles.com/on-the-beauty-and-importance-of-traveling

2011-10-04T10:52:00.002+02:00

I could have endless conversations about the cuteness of Asian children. Then again, all children are cute! Chinese children pointed at us asking their Mum's why we looked so different. Then they started hiding from us behind their parents. Some would look back, try to approach us and scream running back to hide behind their Mother's legs. That was too cute and we're sorry we scared them by looking different.

Here are some of the brave children I came across in China.

I'd call this one super brave! Look at the evil look on her face as well as the woman (hopefully just sleeping) behind her!

These are for the purpose of sharing my experiences with you. I had permission to take these photos.

On tidying up

2011-09-21T14:53:00.008+02:00

Tidying up my room begins somewhere different today. It starts with tidying up the content on my laptop hard drive because I figured it's a massive contributor to feeling out of control. And yes, I have only just discovered this. Five copies of the same China photo albums all over the place, each containing over 1000 photos. Makes me wonder how on earth it even got stored so often. Seven copies of the same downloads because, for some reason, a Mac just puts a number at the back of files after recognising it's already saved. I wish I knew a way to change that.

But using my laptop to write, to phone and even 'socialise' surely puts its importance at the top of the list for essential things. How lame and embarrassing is that? Unfortunately, I'm not the only one, just one of the few who can't get it organised. So I thought that possibly today, after I have sorted this out, I will feel like I've accomplished something. The thing is that nobody is going to care or understand or say 'well done' because nobody will have access to this space. Whatever. It's about the little tricks we have to gain our control back and if each person's was the same there would be a much bigger chaos.

Scarlettjohanssoning

2011-09-19T21:20:00.003+02:00

I was going to write about hip hop style trending but instead "Scarlettjohanssoning" is trending. I'm confused if people are doing this to prove it's no big deal or whether they're just copying her because she's awesome. Probably better than planking. I laughed.

Half moon nails

2011-09-14T00:18:00.000+02:00

Half Moon nails first appeared at the Philip Lim S/S 2011 fashion show. I have fallen for them ever since. My favourite colour combination is the same that was used for Lim's show (nude and black) as it looks unexpectedly elegant. Since my trip to China, however, I have a new obsession known as nail art. I like to experiment. Even with my half moon colours... grey and black, pink and blue, red and orange, green and red.
Pink and blue is on today's menu. There you go!

2011-09-12T02:17:00.004+02:00

I just came across this picture. It puts a smile on my face. Original associations can be so enjoyable! I definitely have a weakness for them. It's like a moment of an answer and an end to - in reality - never ending questions about life. And in that moment you suddenly feel surprisingly enlightened.
We're lucky to not have such experiences available each second of the day. Of course one could keep searching for more but what would be the point? They would be guaranteed to lose their meaning. That's why having found this felt special. Special enough to want to capture the thought on it.

Remembering The Future

2011-08-23T02:25:00.000+02:00

It's not just the fact that China is seven hours ahead of us (GMT) but also its growing importance in the world economy that reinforces my friend's argument about being in China equalling being in the future. Of course our small talk after intense daily Chinese language lessons didn't exactly revolve around the developing side of the country but about silly arguments excusing naughty behaviour. Simply because whatever we did in China did not quite happen back home... yet.

I'd like to call myself loyal, however. So let's go on to some photos trying to do the reality justice starting with the Buddhist Temple in Harbin. And there will be more.

Rainy evening

2011-04-20T00:59:00.006+02:00

The German weather has been really fantastic in the last couple of days. Today it was a bit windy in the afternoon and started raining in the evening. The balcony of my flat leads to the most enjoyable late afternoon views. Today I got to see a beautiful sunset behind all that rain. Trees outside the house made it look especially meaningful adding contrast into the image.

I took some photos because it looked incredible. I wish that somehow the rain drops could be more visible in the photographs. The photos don't do it justice at all. I guess it's to remind you to look out for moments like these wherever you might be! Because - although I made a personal attempt - no photograph in the world could capture the beauty that comes with nature's authenticity.

Erasmus, China, Mandarin, Japan

2011-03-12T15:59:00.003+01:00

Ni hao!

As from last week, I am considering going on an Erasmus exchange. The University of Mannheim offers an exchange programme in cooperation with my department as well as a variety of quite specific Psychology modules I'm very interested in.

Having grown up in Germany, this exchange may not have too many benefits for me. I am to find out on Monday. The idea is very tempting but the disadvantage would be the additional year in my BSc which I was trying to avoid to begin with. And of course the financial costs that come with it. All in all, however, I am a strong believer in gaining as much cultural experience as possible.

Last week I have paid my deposit for a trip to China this Summer. It feels real now! I have passed one of my exams but am still waiting for the other results. Going requires passing, so I'm still a bit nervous. The trip seems like the most surreal opportunity I have ever had since you have to keep in mind that I have never travelled outside Europe before (Canary Islands shouldn't count).

It's not all fun though...! Well, right now it seems fantastic that I will learn a new language. Nevertheless, I will have 4 hours of Mandarin lessons five days a week.

Admittedly, I was overenthusiastic about my foreign language acquisition skills until I have looked a little bit further into it. The process of learning Mandarin is going to be different than that of the other languages I have learned. As some of you may already know, each word is represented as a character which we could describe as a symbol. This is why I imagine learning it to involve my graphical memory which I did not have to use with cyrillic- or latin-based letters.

Other than that, one 'word' pronounced differently can have a lot of different meanings. Just like it is the case with 'ma' which can be pronounced in four different ways and each means something different. And by 'different' I really mean different. In this case: mother, linen, horse, to swear!

Although it is hard work, I am incredibly excited about learning a completely new language. I also cannot wait to let a very new culture overtake me. To me it seems like such a fun and effortless way of getting a healthy adrenaline rush.

On an entirely different note, the news about the earth quake and tsunami that hit Japan really bugged me yesterday. There is not much nature we can control but it fascinates me anyway that people do try. And it is good as long as its purpose is. It seems unlikely but I do hope there is a way of stopping the radiation of the nuclear power plant from spreading stronger/further. The effects strong radiation can have on the ground, crops and people's health are extremely serious and I know people who suffer(ed) from cancer due to the radiation of the Chernobyl incident.
I'm sending my prayers to everyone in Japan and those who have their close ones there!

My favourite S/S 2011 Trend

2011-02-25T22:11:00.000+01:00

Black/nude half moon nails! Hell yeah! Inspired by Phillip Lim, I tried it out for the first time yesterday. I love how it makes your nails look very short (and, I guess sort of grungy/weird) from a distance, yet looks very elegant close-up. I never considered more than one colour elegant until this trend.

Fail much?

2011-02-11T22:13:00.002+01:00

Topshop

Forever 21.

I own the Topshop one and am disappointed after realising it isn't as unique as I thought it would be. It now screams: "eBay!!!!"

Cognition

2011-02-03T02:13:00.004+01:00

My habit of philosophising before bed and having had a cognitive psychology lecture on attention today, just made me realise that whatever is in the present is manageable. But instead of managing it, we seem to spend more time evaluating origins and consequences of it.

I also participated in a study today to earn credits for the Psychology Subject Pool. It certainly had something to do with attention. My task involved playing brain training games which, as supposed, all involved my full attention. So I walked out and couldn't stop thinking about how manageable things are when you give them your full attention in the present.
I don't mean to go into procrastination etc.. But just thinking about more important things in life, your health and relationships for instance, do you catch yourself spending more time thinking about the past and future of the events involving them?

I'm not saying that doing so is a bad thing. We do need our past and future to guide our present behaviour. In a more metaphysical perspective, however, I find it quite disappointing (I cannot even think of a suitable word) to realize that that's the way it is.
It suggests we think more than we 'act' as well as that babies seem to be the only humans fully living in the present.

Of course I would not trade being in a baby like state for my memory. But maybe I'd like my attention to be equally as influential as my memory.
Perhaps it is... we cannot know. My understanding of it (which involves my memory :/) simply indicates that memory is superior in adults. I am just trying to evaluate(!) whether that's fortunate or not.

Little music recommendation

2011-01-17T20:38:00.000+01:00

Solar Bears blow my mind.

More girls should watch this

2011-01-08T22:16:00.001+01:00

and make it a general rule (not just guy related)

Haha!

I ran out of my favourite perfume

2011-01-06T13:41:00.001+01:00

Wonder where I can get it now spending as little as possible.

Swansea Bay

2010-12-30T02:15:00.002+01:00

On boxing day my boyfriend (check out his work) and I stopped to take some photos of Swansea Bay on our way to Birmingham at about 6:15am because it looked breathtakingly beautiful, unlike on any other day I have looked at it before.

I loved that day.

Lovely, lovely dress

2010-12-29T00:44:00.000+01:00

This dress is so very close to what I tend to wear in my best dreams at night.

alice + olivia

Annett & the German language

2010-12-29T00:40:00.003+01:00

I wish you could speak German, so you could translate her lyrics. But even then they probably wouldn't have the same effect as they have on someone who is comfortable enough to interprete the rhetoric in her verses.
I really enjoy how exact and literal the German language is and it amazes me how Annette can create such soft phrases and sounds using the ugly truth.

Yes please!

2010-12-20T15:20:00.001+01:00

With a kitchen like that you should be able to domesticate me

On christmas, there's no place like home.

2010-12-20T00:01:00.002+01:00

So where am I?

This year, I'm stuck in Wales. There is something melancholic in the air and I swear it is not just in my mind because I feel very happy at the moment. The other day after a snowy night, I wanted to buy some presents because I'm still not done with my christmas shopping.

At 3 in the afternoon, what did I walk into?

What I would tell you if I met you

2010-12-19T23:24:00.004+01:00

Dear Sophie Amundsen,

I wanted to thank you for loving to wonder, for being curious and therefore human. Without that and your bravery to spend your time reading letters from someone who could have been a pedophile, my interest in philosophy and its history would probably have stayed at the lowest possible level.
Because of you and Mr. Knox, I had a presentation about the history of metaphysics and epistemology in a better way than any lecturer would have given me. Thank you for being interested. If I was you, I would have assumed the letters came from Jehova's witnesses. You taught us not to judge a letter by its cover.
I adore you and believe we would get along.

I'm off to watch you on my laptop screen. Apparently the Norwegian film industry has not spent as much money to make a motion picture until 1999 as they did on portraying your story. I'm curious and will try to not judge the film by my secret belief that it is going to be shit.

xxx

What I would tell you if I met you

2010-12-19T22:49:00.002+01:00

Dear Holden Caulfield...
There won't be a picture of you because there is no picture except the one in my imagination. You are skinny and tall, you look like one of my high school friends.
When I was fifteen I have first discovered your story and could not let go of the fact how similar we are. I am aware you get that all the time, but hell, it's still true. For a lot of us! Only once I have heard someone not relating... a rather grown up person. I believe that back then anyone could relate, anyone your age. You will always stay seventeen but we won't. Therefore any decade's teenagers should be able to relate. 60 years later teen insecurities remain the same. Responsibility is a bitch. Not until later do we realise that the majority of responsibility we carry is that for ourselves.
So we both have a younger sibling: The one person who always pulls you back when you are trying to climb towards what they call the peak, which is nothing but adulthood. I want you to realise that just by having a younger sibling you already did experience responsibility for someone else. You do not fail to make us appreciate our younger siblings even more.
I hope you manage to put that cigarette away and grab some food... Thank you for being the character, I would assume a lot of teenagers who read can relate to in modern times. Thank you for not trying to be a wizard.

xxx

Ill

2010-12-15T21:56:00.000+01:00

I can't help but notice how similar the 'L' and the 'I' look in my title. Just like a roman 3!

Anyway, I am currently stuck in my room, have been ill since yesterday but have seen a doctor today which calmed me down a lot!
Thank God my assignments before christmas are all handed in. I need to start revising for the exams as soon as possible, though as well as start a 4000 words Criminology assessment over christmas.

The other day I managed to figure out a way to wear the blouse I talk about too much. It is one of those items that I keep in my closet telling myself I will wear it one day. Hmmm...

Random Ukraine photos

2010-12-04T04:31:00.002+01:00

I miss it! I would love to go back again soon.

a coffee shop near the flat.

Gloria Jeans Coffee shop. I loved it there. They had the best cakes. I also liked the toilets there. Apparently there wasn't so much effort put into the men's restroom.

Lost cats everywhere. :(

The best Sushi I have ever had.

Another sleepless night

2010-10-27T06:22:00.000+02:00

It is 5 am and I am literally praying to fall asleep.

Thoughts run through my head over and over again. New ideas on how to handle situations and all the contras these ideas could lead to. Ways to solve the issues that may arise from the cons. Then that realization that if I did nothing at all about it, it would be the easiest option. That one, however, sends me right back to where I am now. Another night where all I wish for is to be braindead.

It's some viscious circle I feel trapped inside. I really wish I was able to just sleep like so many of you guys do. I don't think this is normal. I don't know what to do.
If only one thing could change, I am sure everything else could turn around. I know it's my mind, but I struggle changing my thoughts at the moment. I seem to think unwisely that certain situations could change and therefore my wellbeing could. Bit of a high expectation.

I'm back on my new Mac

2010-10-21T15:28:00.000+02:00

Bonjour!

Oh... how much I have missed having a laptop! It was nice to look through past blog entries and to notice a change in my language, e.g. how careless my written English sounds when I haven't used it in a while or how much more effort I put into expressing myself properly after feeling comfortable with the use of the English language again.
I am literally trying to do the latter right now but am struggling. It should not be long until I have to start another Psychology essay, though. And I believe it will send me back on track.

As I have written the last bit, I had a text of my friend telling me that we are going to see Yann Tiersen in Exeter Cavern in a few weeks. I'm so excited as apart from listening to acoustic performances I have never been to a more relaxed type of concert. I'm surprised it is going to be in Cavern as I always associate it with indie/rock/electro/punk.
My housemate and I are also hoping to get tickets to see Arcade Fire and Devendra Banhart in Cardiff in December. Hope there will be some left in 2 weeks. I need to stop spending my money in Primark on 10 things thinking 'Oh, it's so cheap' and ending up paying £50! It's a disaster!

Ukraine Day 1

2010-09-11T18:58:00.000+02:00

The first day in Lviv was all about exploring the city center. Compared to 10 years ago, it looks like a completely different place. A lot more modern with many cute looking coffee shops that have an incredible interior design.
I just got back to my flat which has been refurbished and looks incredibly nice. A lot nicer than my place in Germany and the UK. So my friend and I are drinking tea now and will probably get ready for a night out soon. It's the only Saturday night we'll experience here as next week we'll be back in the UK. So it has got to be done, no matter how much my feet are killing me now!

a bus ride to the city center cost us 17 cent each!

in front of the opera.

cool record player in an antique shop

really lovely restaurant that served me the best meal I have had since some salad I ate in Italy.

The most talented man I know.

2010-08-25T10:25:00.003+02:00

I am so thankful to have friends who are so creative and expressive they use that talent to have you and me relax and enjoy beauty. One of my very best friends, John, makes amazing videos. Have a look at his blog and of course all those videos!!! He's awesome and soooo talented!!!

http://www.johnfishervideo.blogspot.com/

Short hair.

2010-08-02T22:30:00.000+02:00

Thoughts?

Is it me or is this somewhat awful?

2010-08-02T20:04:00.000+02:00

Want want want

2010-07-29T12:39:00.000+02:00

Oh my.

Both are from Urban Outfitters. I might treat myself to one of them. Just which one?!

Today I am tidying up, then I'm going to get my hair done. Doubt it will be a big change, just more highlights as the brown hair parts I have left from being brunette look so gross when they come to surface underneath the blonde hair.
I cannot wait to get decent working hours in 3 days! I'm running out of ideas what to occupy myself with in this awful weather.

Bad weather and growing pigeons

2010-07-28T13:37:00.000+02:00

When you brag too much about something, it seems that naturally that something is taken away from you. It has been raining here for days. I spent a whole day bragging about it to the poor people in Swansea, I think. Today is definitely the worst day since I have been back. No more bike rides and no more tanning! Luckily I can still go swimming in the pool really close to my house.

Pigeons grow so fast. Yesterday the ones on our balcony were able to walk and walked around in the tumble dryer! It looked so cute as there really wasn't anywhere to go! Their Mother still comes back all the time but it looks like soon she will stop as soon they will have learned how to fly.
Personally I'm not looking forward to cleaning up the mess after them! However, we are still very amazed that this happened to us and would love to think of it as more than a coincidence. It does not happen every day that a bird finds its way through a hole in the wall and lays her eggs in a tumble dryer. It makes me wonder what they would have done if the dryer door was not open. Would they have layed eggs somewhere else around there or look for somewhere outside?
I know it has been boiling here when I found them in there. So I will do some research as it interests me whether it may have been too hot for them outside.

The weather is so horrible that I am sitting in the kitchen, waiting for the Tarte Flambee I just made for my family to bake while reading books on Psychology! I really miss studying. It's weird.
Also, I am working again this summer and I love it as I get to meet people from all walks of life. I'm very interested in Autism at the moment and how to avoid it. This is a tiny bit strange as the development part of Psychology was never my favourite. It makes me happy to see changes, though.

I also realise that my English has gotten worse but on the plus-side my German got better! That's life, I guess!

Life in my Tumble Dryer

2010-07-19T20:57:00.001+02:00

When I was about to put some clothes into the tumble dryer the other day I almost died from a heart attack:

This is very real and probably the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. I came back to check a few times on them.

They are super cute. Their Mum has built the whole nest for them. My family told me they have seen the eggs before but wanted to leave it to see what happens. I was the one to discover them being already out. It has made my day. When touched they don't react to anything (yet). Watching how they develop is such fun. This is almost like playing Skinner but at least more ethical!

Hipstamatic

2010-07-11T23:05:00.002+02:00

Here some photos I took when I first downloaded the application. To be honest, I'm still not sure how to use it!

This is my neighbor's who happens to walk into my room sometimes!

Oil Spill in the Marina

2010-07-11T22:39:00.003+02:00

My friend John and I went for a coffee in a gorgeous area of Swansea that I don't spend much time at. It certainly would have been an equally nice experience for our underwater friends if there wasn't this nasty oil spill. It probably came from one of the boats. I took some pictures on my phone and it almost sucks to say that they turned out well despite the seriousness of what was happening. This is probably to praise my phone and let you know that Hipstamatic is fun.

What I remember of Ukraine

2010-07-11T22:14:00.001+02:00

This summer I will make a road trip to Croatia from Germany via Austria and Italy. I will go to Switzerland, have day trips to France and before going back to Wales for uni, my friend and I will make a trip to Lvov (Lemberg) in Ukraine.

I have not been to Ukraine in about 7 years and wonder how it has changed as well as how some of my friends and relatives who live there have changed. Every encounter after such a long time feels like you are meeting strangers that you apparently know at the same time.

From what I can remember, the slow motion of the country when it comes to western trends has always shocked me a bit. It made me question the necessity of following trends. And admittedly, it made me feel uncomfortable. Almost as if there is not much to aim for when you cannot compare yourself to others when it comes to technology, fashion and brands. You may have it/wear it and draw a lot of attention on yourself. But at the end of the day, nobody I have met desired to own the same thing. And it made me wonder whether there was no desire to get out there and see the rest of the world or westernize Ukraine more.
Most importantly, it felt awkward to realize how much of a role consumption plays around here.

With almost everyone being able to access the world by going online these days, I expect big changes. Seven years is a very long time and I know things are very different now. I am very excited to see how much has changed.

Is Hugo Boss still the #1 status symbol in ex-USSR countries? This certainly was the case few years ago. Do people obsess about what to wear and get inspired by lookbook.nu? Is Justin Bieber THE shit? Is owning an iPhone normal? I expect it but I could be very very wrong.

Why Not Be Your Own Participant?

2010-07-11T22:07:00.002+02:00

With those worries about my exam results out of the way (all passed), the excitement about traveling can finally start without fearing the 'loser' label that would have been given if there was too much bragging for nothing. Because as mentioned a lot of times on here: failing = not traveling.

I can hardly believe that I managed to stay on track this year as sometimes I felt like giving it all up. That's common, though. This year made me realise how often the fear of failing is not within any reason and although the reasons seem so valid to oneself, the only thing stopping one is the fear failing whilst trying. Therefore, I feel you can separate failing in general and failing while trying. I doubt anyone comes to their goal with the first attempt.
As Alice In Wonderland sings, we are all able to give ourselves 'very good advice' but very seldom follow it.
Now it got to the point where it seems very wise to try and make the advised behaviour a habit. Cause when something is a habit, nobody can complain about you not being yourself.

How likely is an adult to be able to change their behaviour without having behaviour modification therapy? Being naturally lazy I wanna try and see how much of my time I can devote to helping people who do not belong to my loved ones in the next couple of weeks before my traveling begins. I wonder what this does for me. If you read this, challenge yourself to do something that you know is good but is not what you have been doing lately. Let me know how it goes and whether it was possible for you to stick to it as well as how/if it changed something about you.

xox

Laura Stevenson and the Cans

2010-06-26T19:38:00.001+02:00

Last night I went to a Laura Stevenson gig and now I have a girlcrush on her. Beautiful.

If you read this, you have to listen to some songs on their Myspace. And don't miss a show if they play near you. You will love it.

http://www.myspace.com/laurastevenson

Breathing Earth

2010-06-23T16:36:00.001+02:00

It feels wrong to sit here looking at this. It makes me rather nervous:
www.breathingearth.net/

Question Of The Day

2010-06-15T15:47:00.000+02:00

Why are flies so stupid?

Admittedly, I am annoyed. Whenever a fly flies into my room it takes it ages to find back out. Like right now. I remember flies see in slow motion but move extremly quick in relation to how they perceive.
So a fly might see my window but does a fly understand where it is going? It sees my window but might move quicker towards it than its eyes do. So when its eyes believe it is about to fly outside, its body is already back inside the room. Then why would a window be perceived in slow motion when a window does not actually move?
Perhaps I have better things to do but taking my time to do some sort of research has at least resulted in it FINALLY being back outside.

Being S-M-R-T

2010-06-11T20:08:00.005+02:00

Now that exams are over I can finally read fiction without feeling that I should be doing something more important. One of the novels I have wanted to read for a while is To Kill a Mockingbird which I have finally started today. Unfortunately my attempt means reading it in English and the first pages were already a pain. It's a linguistic challenge and that's what my Super-Ego secretly loves as it's the best way to learn. It's all about discipline now.

I have a girl crush on Camilla Belle and when things like these happen I get insane thoughts about colouring my hair dark again. But really... No way, Jose! It isn't going to happen and I feel much more like myself with my current hair colour. Anyway, she is incredible. She knows how to dress and I find it hard to believe she is only 23! She appears a lot more mature... which is good, so good in her case.

Ben Jones

2010-06-04T15:01:00.001+02:00

My uni friend Ben LOVES animals. He is a cool surfer boy with surf boy hair who studies marine biology and is able to approach the cutest and 'strangest' things without scaring them off as normal people like us tend to. It's very true that we secretly admire such people... especially ones who leave us a little part of the experience by taking a amazing photographs.
Have a look at his new website.

http://benjonesphoto.webs.com/

Saudi

2010-05-29T18:35:00.000+02:00

It is a bit strange to have a best friend who is white, partly raised in the UK who cannot define where she's from. She spends each term break with her parents based in Saudi Arabia. I wish I could come with her one day but getting into that country is nearly impossible for me. But it must work somehow. If they let tourists into North Korea, then surely they let them into Saudi Arabia? I have informed myself and the process does not seem as complicated online as it is in real life. In real life, it is best to say a member of your family is based there unless you are going on a business trip. I wonder how to manage that but I want to try and manage it somehow. Let me know if you have more information or experience on it.

-----

Es ist etwas merkwürdig eine beste Freundin zu haben, die weiß ist, teilweise im Verenigten Königreich großgezogen wurde und nicht definieren kann, woher sie kommt. Jede Semesterferien verbringt sie in Saudi-Arabien, wo ihre Eltern leben. Ich wünsche ich könnte eines Tages mitkommen- was für mich aber fast unmöglich ist. Jedoch muss es irgendwie klappen. Wenn Touristen anscheinend nach Nordkorea dürfen, dann sollte es für Saudi-Arabien erst recht kein Problem sein, oder? Ich habe mich informiert und im Internet scheint der Vorgang nicht so kompliziert wie er aber in Wirklichkeit ist. Denn in Wirklichkeit ist es am besten anzugeben, dass man einen dort lebenden Verwandten hat, es sei denn man unternimmt eine Business-Reise. Ich frage mich, wie ich das schaffen soll. Fest steht, ich will es irgendwie schaffen. Also sagt Bescheid, wenn ihr wisst, wie ich da am besten vorgehen sollte.

Summer.

2010-05-24T21:57:00.002+02:00

When it gets hot in Wales, you can notice the change on everyones faces right away. People who complain about life 24/7 show fewer mimic wrinkles and those lazy asses a.k.a. the guy who lives in this apartment are probably more likely to leave their house.

Being in Swansea there is no better place than the beach. Unfortunately May/June are known to take over our lives and make us aim for passing our exams. However, some people's inner devil has a louder voice and they just want to 'fuck it' and go to the beach. Those among us who have this quiet innocent angel speaking kind words about future rewards into our heads, just feel sorry ignoring this creature. We decide to spend our (apparently) 23 degrees afternoon which, trust me, is definitely much hotter than that, in a university library that besides books lacking a nice story line, offers a variety of sweaty students, flooded toilets and broken watercoolers.
We need to be reminded what we came here for when a 180 degrees rotation of our heads presents seven open facebook accounts or an overexcited boy cheering for Murray winning against Gasquet at Roland Garros' first round.
When two girls sitting behind us chat about ice cream flavours, then, how on earth can this be the place where everyone is supposed to be working? Whether locked inside or alone in the middle of nowhere, don't we all work better when there is truly nothing to miss out on? Especially in the UK, God's favourite wee alley.

Not So Good

2010-05-06T01:05:00.000+02:00

I'm currently in Exeter and it's a nice change. However, my Mac died the other day and that was potentially the worst event of my life so far as I need to work on it. My essay is due next Thursday. The smartest thing I could try is to stop updating this blog while I'm stressed doing my work in the uni library (self-hell). There is no good outcome when you force yourself to write for the sake of updating. It's more fun when you have coffee, cake, a Mac and time to think about the things you want to think about.

"In Britain we turn the sofa so we can sit on it"

2010-05-03T18:21:00.001+02:00

That Hawaiian party got a bit wild... thankfully.

My favourite part was a sofa in my room... apparently my house mates did not know how to work it when making space in the living room so people could dance. Isn't the sofa just dead ugly? At least we managed to take some cool pictures with it. Ones that might confuse the hell out of anyone who lives on earth. It looks like we can mess with gravity. My friend has them all on her camera. I cannot wait to have a sober look at them.

I was in a total fashion mood today and just went to browse shops. They sell House Of Holland suspender tights in River Island. Feels like a proper Must-Have:

Again: What can be worn with that?! Would denim shorts look OK? I worry it would look trashy wearing them with a long blouse like Taylor Momsen does as I'm not really a fan of her style. I feel I need them nevertheless. Bad times!

I'm going to Exeter tonight and I'm very serious about going blonde this time.

If Only The Boss Was A Few Years Younger

2010-04-25T18:07:00.001+02:00

I'm listening to Bruce Springsteen's greatest hits at the moment and his music makes me feel so pure. As if I can make an attempt on anything I want to. Perhaps that is because I grew up listening to him back when I had a lot of options. So with him in the background I seriously come to realise that none of these options are truly gone. Realising this makes me very happy. I should listen to him even more.
Talking about listening to bosses... I really want one of those Bruce shirts that says 'The Only Boss I Listen To'. Hopefully in a cooler design. This guy I met wants to print some. I'm very excited about it.

Also, my friends Dividers recorded a demo the other day and it kicks ass. You should check them out on Myspace. I'm very proud to know such amazing people. Since I have just realised the download link for their demo is on their myspace, I may as well introduce it here. Feel free to download a copy. There are three awesome songs on it.

Knowing that a lot of people expect a few fashion related posts I can say that I have been a bit stripes obsessed while in Germany. Guess I still am. I bought a few horizontally striped basic t-shirts and tops at H&M. My most amazing buy must have been a shirt with VERTICAL stripes, though. It is by Ralph Lauren and I got it at a place that has second hand designer clothes only in Baden-Baden. Ask me for the address if you wanna go there. The shirt was 50€. Admittedly I haven't worn it out yet and am not too sure how to wear it. It is not your typical preppy Ralph Lauren blouse. It's silky and much more loose. It is similar to this

but even that doesn't do it justice. I will take a shitty webcam picture when I get back from the gym. I'm too busy trying to sort out my clothes before I go to that Pilates class at 6pm.

It also looks like I'll get to see PJ Bond play at a house show on Tuesday. I will have to force myself to finish my Psychology practical report which is due on Friday, just because I will feel better at the party knowing I got it done. It's a report on a study I did with three others on encoding. This requires a library day tomorrow for sure. I am actually looking forward to working under pressure again!

Another thing... I am really bored with my blog design and have no idea how to change it. I basically want the pictures I post to be bigger like most of you have. Your blogs are so pretty! I really suck at such things so if you know what I could do to change it, let me know. I really appreciate your help. Thank you!

Oh Men

2010-04-23T13:25:00.004+02:00

It really is true that boys act differently in spring. I'm not going to get scientific here but every boy I know seems to like a girl at the moment. They do funny things. So, girls, get outside because it's worth it.

The other day I was walking down the bay, all caught in my own thoughts about what to write in my practical report. Soon I was approaching some uni boys playing football or rugby (it's all the same to me). Whichever ball was played with suddenly hit my head quite bad and I landed in the sand. Does that not just remind you of that scene in Just Married when Ashton Kutcher's ball meets Brittany Murphy's head? It was like a deja vu except it never really happened to me before but that guy ran up to me to ask if I'm ok and wanted to get coffee with me to make up for it. Unfortunately he was nothing close to Ashton. I did not see how this one was worth getting to know. Still I thought the situation was pretty funny. I kindly lied about having a boyfriend who would not like that.

Creepy men way older than us seem check us out more obviously than ever. I find such moments almost intimidating. How are we supposed to act? It would make things even creepier if we accidently gave them the impression we're just as into them. I usually put kind of an ugly, tomboy-ish walk on and really hope I come across as unattractive, unavailable as possible. It worked about 70% of the time for me. They do stare a bit more sometimes... probably out of disgust, though.

Boys throw around tables and couches and set of fire extinguisher, apparently for no reason. Girls just stand there and watch but also laugh. I could swear you never make us laugh as much as in spring. Then again, I guess springtime transforms each one of us.

Ach :)

2010-04-21T15:20:00.001+02:00

I'm amazed by how much this song could be about me.

This Made My Day

2010-04-18T20:30:00.002+02:00

and the fact I'm going to Nandos now as well as the fact that my cheeks got a tan. And last night was awesome! I wonder why the hell I've been getting drunk so easily lately. Usually it takes me longer than everyone else to get drunk. I believe that detoxing while I was back home has turned me into a drunk drinker.

Home Syndrome

2010-04-16T22:51:00.005+02:00

Being back in the UK is not as bad as I feared it would be. I had the best few days. It might be that I'm a lazy hungover ass today but that's excusable. Last night was the drunkest I have ever been in my life... apart from once in Germany when I ended up at some snobs' house with my friend and when we wrote 'shitfaced cockmaster' on a jerk's back. He definitely deserved it because he was bothering me the whole night trying to massage me. Yeah, it was so bad, I was bothered.

Last night I passed out on my bed (thank God). I then had to force myself to take off my clothes and to get under my cover. Never thought something like it would require that much strength. I danced to music I didn't dance to in a while, e.g. RnB. I forgot how good it is to dance to.

Here are some pictures from my trip to Germany. I haven't had all of them developed yet but these few look lovely on my wall.

Drunk

2010-04-16T15:35:00.001+02:00

I'm still drunk from last night. It was totally awesome. So this is all I have to offer:

Hair Products & Ashton Kutcher

2010-04-13T01:58:00.002+02:00

If you're in Germany and you're into hair products, don't miss the John Frieda sale at Müller. I got overexcited but didn't buy as much as I wish I could. The sale is still on until the 17th.
Root Awakening is my absolute favourite. Makes my hair look healthy and smells like some Japanese garden. So of course I got it. Heavenly 3,95€.

Oh and here's Ashton for the girly girlies.

Eintrag Ohne Titel

2010-04-13T00:53:00.007+02:00

I was hanging out with my best friend today. We drank lots of wine and now I'm sitting in my room and still haven't packed my stuff. My flight is at 9am. I am a pro at drunk packing but I feel sooo tired and just keep procrastinating. I changed my Twitter design, I took photos of my sister, I deeply thought about what to wear tomorrow as I am on the plane first but need to look somewhat decent when I get to London town where I will walk around for hours cause that's how I wanted it. That's why I booked such a late coach home. This should be fun, I'm excited. Will need to buy a few things... e.g. a handbag. None of it is necessary, I guess. It's so much more expensive to be a girl... unless you're a guy wasting it on alcohol. It truly is a waste. We were lucky enough to drink red wine that my grandma offered us tonight.

Also, I came to realise I haven't smoked since the 20th of March which makes it 3 weeks or something of me being a non smoker. Now I'm very worried about smoking tomorrow cause I associate sitting outside in Covent Garden with smoking a cigarette. I feel so weak imagining this scene without a cigarette. I strongly believe people find it so hard to give up smoking because holding a cigarette gives them some sort of confidence. Not holding one all of a sudden makes us nervous in certain situations we'd normally have one. When thinking about it from a different perspective sitting there tomorrow without one looks more normal than normal could ever be defined as. That's actually a cool thing I should do some research into.

Also Ryanair sucks. It now has a song as well. They charge you a lot of money if you don't check in online. They also try to sell you 'cigarettes' you can smoke on the plane. Whenever I got on board they played classical music. Why do other people get to enjoy this?

I need to pack my toiletries now. So boring! One day I will have a guy in a thong packing my stuff for me while I can eat lots of sweets and drink tea. The important thing is to NEVER have a dildo in your hand luggage!!! This could be the worst entry I have ever written but oh well, I'm tipsy!

More Courage

2010-04-09T02:03:00.003+02:00

It is as if I am too busy to blog or something. Strange to see how relatively long ago my last entry was. Even now I'm too tired to write decently. That's why I thought it would be a sweet idea to leave you with this quote I came across that could be seen as an additional way of thinking about bravery in relation this this post:

So in relation to the entry 'What Is Bravery' this shows you don't have to be 'stupid' in order to be brave, doesn't it?!

This has been an intense week. I have pretty much lost a friendship... I asked for a break which was not taken lightly. My feelings about it are mixed as I care about her a lot. However, I can say if I did not do anything about it, I wouldn't be happy at all in the next couple of years. And I spent years thinking I could just accept things and not take whatever upset me seriously. Well, I tried and failed many times. Therefore explaining myself and finally saying how I felt seemed like a good option. An option I have thought of for a long time but always remembered how I could just relax and accept things instead. How can a friendship be a friendship when it steals your sleep, your social skills and your smile?

My Mother said to me that freedom isn't found within doing what we want but not having to do what we don't want. She was quoting Rousseau. The night before I chose to walk this way I struggled falling asleep. I was also strongly under the influence of alcohol and moved around in bed thinking about what to do for hours before I was able to fall asleep. I came to the point where I was just so sick of pretending to be OK. Not sure if I believe in dreams but when I finally fell asleep, I dreamt of myself telling that friend that things aren't going well, that I'm not happy and my friend accepted it. As soon as I woke up, I felt extremely encouraged to finally act. And now I say I have mixed feelings? That's because I seriously don't enjoy intentionally upsetting people I care about. What normal person does!? What's done is done, though. And honestly, it's as if I can breathe again.

Maybe I'm a bitch now but I haven't felt this Me for a long long time.

4000 Words

2010-04-03T22:29:00.002+02:00

How should we punish?

vs.

Is the Criminal Justice System effective?

Decision time.

Karfreitag

2010-04-02T15:19:00.012+02:00

This is a saved entry from last Friday, I didn't manage to finish it and only just realised:

Some cartoon about ants is on TV and I am browsing the American Apparel website in search for one bodysuit. Too bad there are about five I'm into.

uno

dos

not exactly something to wear out but nice.

tres

cuatro

cinco

I am really into vertical stripes at the moment. It is a true circus look in contrast to the marine horizontal stripes look. Therefore it's much easier to create an extravagant, 'mad' look. And that can be a lot of fun!

pictures from www.americanapparel.com

Germany's Next Topmodel

2010-04-02T04:07:00.001+02:00

http://www.gntm-blog.de/ posted about the Top 5 of the current Germany's Next Topmodel season. Bild (it's like The Sun for Germany) wrote about it first. I remember them doing the same for last season and it turned out to be true. I have 4 favourites, two of them - Viktoria and Leyla are not in there. I wanted it to be Leyla cause she wore the same Bruce Springsteen shirt as I have! Well, it would be weird if this was the only reason but I thought she looks really fresh and different to what you tend to find in the German fashion world. She looks like she belongs in LA and reminds me of the Cobrasnake party girls ...blah bla bla. Too bad it isn't her winning it! Ah well, the shirt definitely got her some points there. Admittedly I didn't even notice her until she wore it! As mean as it sounds, it did impress me very much! There is always something that makes someone stand out of the crowd for someone else. Even when it's silly and has taken a while!

P.S. I dislike BILD. Just because 'hate' is such a strong word.

Shirts And Plans

2010-04-02T03:30:00.004+02:00

I haven't smoked for nearly 2 weeks and Coke tastes gross after tonight as I took a sip expecting it to be water in my glass. I wish this was a sign for cool things to come! Cool as in healthy and good straight edge things but I cannot see this going anywhere. Meh, it's just me being good because I'm at home.

I'm about to order a Minor Threat shirt. Always wanted the Out Of Step one with the sheep but found a girls one online (bit boring though?). Not sure anymore!

Here are the two:

Guess I could cut the white one into the right shape. Damn... maybe I could just get both?!

I have applied for a few jobs and consider staying in the UK in summer to work and save up to go on a trip in autumn. If I can't find anything decent I'll just work at my old workplace back home. At the moment my mind is very set on traveling further than I ever got the chance to.

What is bravery?

2010-03-31T00:24:00.004+02:00

Imagine you are sitting in the exam hall. You look at your sheet and someone thought it would be a good idea to ask you what bravery is. I can imagine some of those reading this post know how this continues...

Have you heard the urban legend about a student having the exact same question in one of his exams? The legend tells us he answered briefly with "This is bravery." and simply returned his exam sheet...

The consequences ruin the story for me. It was marked with a C by one examiner and considered a big fail by the other. In the German marking system that would have meant a D.

Does that make you wonder? How fair was that mark? If bravery meant to define the word and describe situations where bravery comes to surface, then, I believe, it would not be what we understand it to be. It must have taken a person to be very brave to jeopardize an exam like that. And isn't being a brave kid all about taking risks?

However, it is questionable why a person would want to play with fire in an exam situation. There must be some kind of relationship between being brave and being stupid one could think...

Diesel must have thought so for sure. That Italian denim devil has managed to create my current favourite campaign: Be Stupid. Apparently it is OK (or fashionable?) to be stupid and hell yes, there is this relationship I am talking about. It is mentioned in every print advert around. I see it on posters in town or spread throughout 1-3 pages in the good magazines. They make it clear:

Smart may have the brains, but stupid has the balls.

Smart critiques, stupid creates.

Smart has the plans, stupid has the stories.

etc.

Great copywriting work and whoever did it was indeed stupid at some point in their life. The good thing is, it is encouraging younger generations to be less serious. Then again, this being a good thing is questionable. Everything in moderation, please. With a campaign like that we wonder why we stopped being obsessed with Diesel clothing sometime in 2007. This couldn't have been just the case for me. Great comeback for sure.

What mark would that legendary person get for their bravery 10 years from now? Will that tendency towards chilling out about stuff ever have an effect on guidelines in schools? Either way we wish they gave him an A... how much better could one describe bravery? And how much better and more encouraging would that ending have made the story!

New Love

2010-03-29T23:09:00.002+02:00

And suddenly I see Jake Gyllenhaal from a completely different perspective. I could.

She Makes Me Like Charity

2010-03-26T11:28:00.001+01:00

As predicted the weather sucks a bit today. Looks like there's gonna be thunderstorms. I am looking forward to sorting out my sister's room with her this afternoon when she gets back from school. Sometimes things like that are fun. Especially in her case since most of it involves determining which clothes to keep and which to get rid of. If this turns out to be an assessment of every piece of clothing she owns, I'll be pretty happy. Looking at apparel, its use and whether it is still wearable and what it could be worn with is like a fun homework in my opinion. Is that sad? Well, yes. My mother thinks so, so it must be true!

2010-03-15T22:51:00.000+01:00

Last week I made a 'unladylike' late appearance to my friend Carly's exhibition at the Swansea Metropolitan. At least I got to see something. I will upload photos of it later because unfortunately I took them with my friend's camera and she has them. Visit Carly's blog in the meantime. Her skillz are absofuckinglutely awesome! http://carlycupcake.blogspot.com

Good result

2010-03-15T22:50:00.001+01:00

My weekend was filled with illness and some sort of sad state I'd prefer to hide coming more and more to surface. Although food... and I mean good food was not a the best idea (nausea) my friend took me to Nandos which happened to be the best meal I have ever had there. We ended up talking for hours and having dessert. How weird is it that there are people you see nearly every day and you can still talk about lots of things? I often go quiet because I don't enjoy mentioning irrelevant things but it feels that with some people you can talk about anything, just talk, talk, talk. You talk about the weather for the fifth time on the same day and it becomes so normal you don't quite realise you have spoken about it before. This probably applies to so many out there but just to have it mentioned again... isn't a cup of coffee just the perfect conversation accessory?

I am a bit embarrassed just looking back at how often I complain about uni work. Definitely because these are the moments when writing a blog entry is an incredible way to escape work. I'm currently writing another practical report that has to be handed in on Thursday because if I move it to the deadline (which is Friday) I won't be able to go out for my friend's birthday. Today I have managed to do some calculations but gave up after I've realised I made a mistake and couldn't identify it. Also, I have written about 100 words (!).

Other than that I walked to uni nearly breaking out in tears because this is what I do. Well, not really, it's just that I've been SUCH an emotional mess this week. There is a slight chance you remember the entry about me worrying about my exam results because resits = no holiday with my family. I picked up my Criminology result and I passed. Why can't I just be happy now? There will be more exams in May and God knows what they will bring. It's kinda shocking I've done well in Criminology because I was close to dropping it few months ago. I ain't complaining about it, just not as overly excited as I should/could be.

Very soon I will get to see my sister again. That is definitely something to look forward to... even though I won't stay for as long as I wish I could.

You know what's fun?

2010-03-13T18:40:00.002+01:00

Definitely not being ill. Which is what I am today. Suffering in bed with a hot water bottle and lots and lots of tea. Trying to do uni work but failing. I'm not a masochist, so this is not my definition of fun.

So the beauty lies in finally owning a Bruce Springsteen t-shirt and not having to hide my Dad's underneath 4 layers and sneak out of his house to then get angry phone calls that he wants his shirt back... My methods stopped working a while ago. He knows who to call whenever it disappears.

Thank you, H&M, for saving my life and making my relationship to my Dad more peaceful.

I am looking forward to attending local gigs with him, him wearing his The Boss shirt, me wearing mine. He has the strongest influence on my music taste for sure. We now influence each other. I show him bands I discover living here and he takes me to acoustic performances of the local pedophiles. Surprisingly he likes the music I show him and is impressed by its speed. Me on the other hand has not so much to compliment about what the music scene offers in that tiny village my Dad is currently based in.

I'm hoping to get him to visit me here sometime soon.

2010-03-10T04:13:00.009+01:00

I came across this man when browsing Scandinavian street style... What the hell is hanging around his neck? A dead animal!? I believe I might be scared for life (not really cause there are worse things than this guy to fear) but what was he thinking? He does look like a Russian mafia boss or some 21st century Rasputin wannabe.

He also reminds me of Quentin Delafon from The Teenagers for some reason but Quentin dresses differently for sure.

(styleclicker.net)

JoBro's

2010-03-09T18:22:00.004+01:00

Their songs have very very deep lyrics. ;)

It's like I'm walking on broken glass, better believe I bled.

I love Kat Dennings

2010-03-08T02:40:00.001+01:00

Was just reminded of it after watching House Bunny earlier. A very bad film that still makes me laugh and wanna watch it again and again!

Go,

2010-03-05T21:52:00.004+01:00

watch Alice In Wonderland. It's superb. It makes you wish it was real.

Sleep Aid

2010-03-05T05:33:00.003+01:00

What do you do when you have taken sleep aid four hours ago and find yourself wide awake turning about a hundred times on your bed worrying about things, analysing things, thinking what could have been, thinking what could become when all this could have been thought about at the appropriate time? I often see myself as a perfect New Yorker. Every time I pass out lately is just a decent bed time for them.

I cannot sleep because I wonder about nothingness. Literally. I wish I could keep my mind from thinking about something that will never find a conclusion. So here I find myself trying to conclude with the urgent need to make a note of what I found:

If nothing is 'something that doesn't exist', then it somehow must have been/is. It being something (that doesn't exist) states there is no such thing as nothing as you already refer to it as something in this widely used definition. (?)

To build a stronger argument I'd need to think about existence as well but this is where my mind gives up. I'm reminded of the Philosophy course I took in college where everyone walked out of the class with mega headaches because our lecturer was a fan of the Socratic method. An argument was only good if there was nothing he could pick on and ask about. It required us thinking about all the possible criticisms beforehand. Hard times!

Another thing on my mind are people's fighting methods. I had this conversation with my friend Michelle years ago. She's an insanely smart woman who knows too much about fashion, politics, Argentina and other Spanish speaking countries, good food, good wines. She's hot, speaks many languages, works in the fashion industry and knows me (I mean I'm the lucky one by the way). So we talked about how people respond to being hurt by another person. Not that it became a debate about what's best. Over red wine I told her about the way I approach such situations and she made me realise that everyone is different in that sense and told me about her 'fighting technique'.

I can't help myself but wonder what relationship there is between how people respond to others who hurt them and their personality/experience/physiology etc.

Here is an example of a possible 'method' if you can't guess where I'm coming from...

'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.' - Oscar Wilde

It could also be seen as some sort of revenge plan. Some are more active of course, probably most are. Others don't even see the sense in doing something about it following 'if it was meant to be it wouldn't have lead to problems in the first place' which I kinda see as the number one ticket to being lazy because it sounds like they expect the object of the problem to naturally fall at its (desired) place and is willing to wait for it. Wait for it without ever having realised that action could have put it back there way before and simply, at all.

I can imagine such things have to do with how often one has been hurt in the past. This is great stuff I would like to do a study on but first I'd need to put what I'm on about into better words. And unfortunately that's gonna take me ages.

But research is fun. Even questions like: Do blondes have more fun?

Thinking about this... they kinda do in my experience. I sensed that I looked and felt healthier as a blonde and was therefore happier. Hmmm... Again, it's all to do with other things and I'm pretty sure here it's just the case of me still not being used to dark hair.

I am one lucky girl

2010-03-02T23:36:00.003+01:00

Thanks to Vice, I now know how to go down on a girl.

And a few seconds later I can't keep from asking myself why the hell I just read this: The Vice Guide To Eating Pussy.

Again, I'm tempted

2010-03-02T21:56:00.004+01:00

Deers, owls, dogs, fishes. I know I should stop wanting a tattoo but fuckyeahtattoos makes me wanna sin.

Punctuality vs. Looking Good

2010-02-26T16:25:00.007+01:00

Ever since I turned sixteen I've been turning up late to many classes/lectures. Today, after being punctual for once in a long time (I walked in one minute before the start) I started asking myself why I'm always late. And I got it.

I forgot my water bottle, my shoes were uncomfy... where was my hairbrush and why was I still wearing that light green nail polish? It seems as though none of that would have happened if I took my extra five minutes to sort it out. What exactly makes those five minutes so productive?

I tend to wake up two hours before my lecture. It takes me about thirty minutes to walk to uni. That shows I have a lot of time to get ready... Somehow, though, I don't. If there was no temptation to have a great breakfast that I want to enjoy, I'd be on time. Without the major distraction called internet, I'd be on time, too. Now and then, I suddenly think it would be a wise idea to wash my hair. Long hair like mine takes ages to dry. As soon as I look in the mirror, another process of getting ready starts. To fully satisfy me I would need about an hour for it. But usually I only have about 30 minutes left. That is when it's time to apply my make-up, put on the clothes I look and feel good in. When you're in a rush, you can easily forget the feel-good-factor. So next comes the cause of all problems: The need to get changed.

At around twenty to my lecture is when I leave my house. Was looking like I do now really worth missing the introduction? Not at all. I look no different to what I looked like in the other outfit.

I have a project for next week: Be punctual to each lecture, even without the right look, attend each lecture and well, work out.

If next week goes right, forever can go right.

Living away from home requires me taking more responsibility for myself. It is really strange and sometimes I miss my Mother telling me what to do. Discipline has only ever been a strength when it is glued to an ambition that could result in it. It is time to figure out why I do what I do. I'm looking forward to the upcoming week. My birthday celebration is far from being the only reason...

Day off

2010-02-24T20:36:00.008+01:00

On Wednesdays I wear pink. Just kidding. On Wednesdays I have no lectures. I could be wearing pink. In fact I might go out later and wear pink. Because of the horrible sleeping habits I've been having lately, I woke up at 12 today and really didn't want to have the feeling I'm wasting a whole day, so I arranged to meet up with my friend Abi. We drove to a retail park where she works and I bought some cool accessories that were on sale. I'm especially in love with this black bow and might wear it tonight.

A friend of mine complimented me on my writing yesterday. I have never felt so happy. One of the compliments I value the most. Hopefully he didn't 'read' me and just used it as an opportunity because he knew it would have that effect on me. I love writing almost as much as I love traveling. It keeps my thoughts on the road when I'm sitting still, when I have no money to travel, when I have no time to travel. Writing helps me escape into another world sometimes. Most importantly, though, writing helps me bring structure into my thoughts, analyse situations, bring sense into them and conclude my inner debates. Sometimes I make notes of how my thoughts develop. Last year I have written an essay about seeking distance and traveling for our year book which I was in the editor team of. Although it is all in German, I might make an attempt translating it because it turned out really well.

Blogs can be useful for presenting such things which I have mentioned in my first ever entry in this one. The thing is that I have been blogging since I was 15 years old. I have five blogs in total but stopped using the two personal ones (one was when I was 15-17 years old, the other 17-20). A few weeks ago I went through it and was in shock about how many entries were about me loving my (ex) boyfriend. It was too cute. He was my first boyfriend and I really thought it was love. Having a boyfriend was so cool back then. Oh dear. I'm laughing right now!

It is time for me to stop writing as I have a Criminology seminar tomorrow that I need to do some reading for. Our seminars mainly consist of debating about philosophical views towards topics like punishment or prisons. Fun!

Musik, die Leben spricht.

2010-02-24T04:13:00.008+01:00

It looks like I am a little bit unfortunate when it comes to live shows around where I live in the upcoming weeks. Chuck Ragan is coming to Swansea and as it stands now, I may have to give this a miss. My sister's confirmation to the church is taking place back home in Germany. Although my grandmother was like 'I'm not going to that stupid church thing. I might be in Ukraine then. Live Show? The church thing? Both sounds pretty stupid to me. Just do whatever you want!' (I effing love her haha) Of course everyone else, especially my sister want me to go. My sister is being an idiot saying it is 'the most important day of my life'. Yeah right... I'm gonna have to wait until after my birthday now to book the flights and know the exact dates but either way Chuck won't happen as the show is just the night before the confirmation.

Also, I've been talking to the lovely PJ Bond and was very much looking forward to seeing him in Swansea. Turns out he's here just the weekend after Mister Chuck. Again, my Mum is like 'WTF? you can't just stay here for a week'. So PJ and I are gonna try to sort something out somehow, I hope. Surely it's no big deal playing a song for me if nothing else works out! Man, I have to stop setting my expectations up too high.

The awesomeness of last.fm:

My friend Scott introduced me to last.fm back in summer last year... just to give him some credit. Thanks, Scott. Ever since joining, you could call me an addict. I really love discovering new music that just captures me. Discovering new artists is like opening presents. Having your friends' playlists in front of you is a great way to discover things you might like (if the friendship is based on being alike).

One of the people I happen to stalk the most on there is Kristia who I have met through coming across her youtube channel. She's got skills and sometimes when I feel like listening to Lemuria, Jawbreaker or Tigers Jaw, I just put her on. Acoustic with such great vocal twists. And I absoeffinglutely love her voice. Check out her channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/breakfree

You may as well wanna have a look at her band's myspace.

http://www.myspace.com/exitshecalls

2010-02-23T15:02:00.003+01:00

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep.

(this reminds me of the side effects of being lazy)

Uni work

2010-02-21T21:36:00.001+01:00

... going oh so well. 500 of 1500 words so far. I felt the need to buy coffee and donuts. This is what my work looks like now.

2010-02-11T16:41:00.001+01:00

R.I.P. Alexander McQueen.

Very Good Advice

2010-02-03T19:54:00.002+01:00

I give myself very good advice
But I very seldom follow it
That explains the trouble that I'm always in
Be patient, is very good advice
But the waiting makes me curious
And I'd love the change
Should something strange begin

Well, I went along my merry way
And I never stopped to reason
I should have known there'd be a price to pay
Someday...someday

I give myself very good advice
But I very seldom follow it
Will I ever learn to do the things I should?
Will I ever learn to do the things I should?

spaaaaaa

2010-02-01T19:50:00.002+01:00

What I have been trying right now is transferring the entries onto my new blog on tumblr by changing the post date into whichever date they were posted in the past. It worked for one entry but the rest was posted today (1st Feb). Tumblr is very confusing but my friend Brenda said it would be more fun than this one, so I thought I’d give it a try. Browsing through there, I found this amazing tattoo blog which really REALLY makes me want to get a tattoo. Then again… why? It’s just something I consider to be ‘cool’ at the moment and I’m pretty sure any tattoo I’d get would not be appreciated by me forever as it is meant to be. So I’m gonna try something old… staying true to myself. It’s got to be said though, I quite like tattoos on others. Just not on myself!

So today I have been to town and bought this amazing black lace playsuit in Topshop and that skirt with Scottish checks I have wanted for a while. I am well addicted to shopping and there is no room for any more clothes here. I should start sorting out which ones to get rid of.

Yesterday was absolutely perfect. I went to the spa with my friend Charlie because I had vouchers for the two of us from signing up to the gym. Steam room, Sauna, Aroma Therapy room and a Jacuzzi - I guess it’s all you need. I felt great afterwards. It made me realise how very amazing the spa I go to back home is compared to the one I went to yesterday. I should consider myself lucky. Here’s the spa awesomeness back home and if you are ever in that area, you should plan a wellness day. It is worth it:

After the spa my friend Paul picked me up and we went to see Sherlock Holmes which I have wanted to watch for ages. I thought it was quite good and sensed some sort of attraction towards Robert Downey Jr which felt a bit wrong at the same time. He reminded me of this lovely family friend who owned a coffee shop in my hometown and entertained my sister and me whenever my parents had fights (before their divorce). For some reason I saw him in the guy who played Sherlock Holmes. This may sound freaky but it felt like I ‘knew’ him. There’s something they have in common.

Right now I’m browsing through my Nylon mags which I wish contained more reading material and less adverts. Brand New’s Daisy is playing in the background and freaks me out a little. So I might put Cheap Girls on in a bit. For some reason I fell in love with them after listening to them for the first time. I hope they will play in Swansea sometime soon while I’m around cause I couldn’t come to their gig last summer.

On another note… I miss having a man in my life. It has been a while but I try to see the benefits of being single. The number one benefit is the fact that I can focus on myself instead of falling into an apparent symbiosis which is nothing but emotional dependency once things don’t go that well anymore. As much as I wish I had someone, getting too close to someone always leaves me hurt and I need to protect myself from that. Either way, I’m eating chocolate right now when I could just put it to the side. What can I say? I suck really bad at protecting myself from chocolate. It doesn’t even make a move to seduce me. I can only imagine what a whore a person would be who sent out the same appeal as chocolate does.

2010-01-31T01:54:00.001+01:00

Since lovely Charlie is creating a blog this second I thought I'd surprise her and probably whoever reads this with a picture. Let's face it, you love eye candy! Even I prefer blogs with enough pictures. It's laziness, I believe.

Also,

2010-01-31T01:31:00.001+01:00

Last week my friend and I were discussing how thinking positive can easily become the exact same thing as suppressing which according to Psychoanalysis is not a good thing for us at all. Putting even more thought into it has helped me come to a conclusion and I thought of the following aphorism I would like to share with you:

You have already lost if you question the effect of thinking positive.

My Mother believes it is my dream to become a philosopher. Trust me, it is not! I struggle to prove her wrong and the harder I try, the more she thinks she is right. It must be funny from somebody else's view but I get too annoyed when I should just relax. She's too good at provocation in general.

2010-01-31T01:20:00.001+01:00

It has been a while since I have updated this blog. I have re-discovered it just the other day. Looking at it now and reading posts of how hard I tried getting into uni here (yes, I did it!) makes me realise how lucky I am. It motivates me to work harder and makes me remember that this is what I wanted to do and how I should now strive for doing well at it.

Unfortunately today has been the least productive day I have experienced in Swansea. Had some Me time and edited photos from wednesday night, read a few pages of Sophie's World and painted my nails. Since misery loves company I contacted a few people about hanging out but everyone was hungover. Here's the deal: When you are hungover it is OK to have a lazy day. But damn it, I wasn't and I regret not having followed Carpe Diem. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day and there are some exciting things planned for it: A day at the Spa and cinema in the evening.

Other than that, I am working out again which makes me feel so much better. The first months have been strange as I felt how the sudden lack of exercise has given me back and shoulder pain as well as a weak immune system and some more weight. I'm determined to get back in shape. Although I would like to lose some weight the feeling good part comes first and is my main goal. And as I said, reading the past blog entries makes me feel like nothing's impossible.

Motivation

2009-12-09T18:09:00.003+01:00

Heute ist einer dieser scheußlichen Tage an dem mir jegliche Motivation fehlt. Wo nimmt man sich Motivation her? Als ich für ein bestimmtes Ziel kämpfte, stand das Ganze außer Frage. Motivation war immer da. Nun habe ich keinen direkten Plan und das macht mich zum Faulpelz. Natürlich habe ich vor mein Studium zu beenden und darin gut zu sein. Doch ist der Weg dorthin immer leichter, wenn man sich klar gemacht hat, wofür man sich so fertig macht und welchen Zweckes Mittel dies ist. Ich stresse mich nur ungern umsonst. Also werde ich mich jetzt mal entspannen und gedanklich ein wenig Struktur in meine Zukunft einbauen.

about loans and rooms

2009-08-17T14:02:00.001+02:00

I feel like such a loser for not knowing what's gonna happen to me! I will find out about the loan soooooo so late and my parents won't be able to support me in case it doesn't go through... personally I won't be able to support myself through any decent part time jobs either.

Yesterday I rang up the landlord of the house where I'd like to rent a room at. He turned out to be very kind and helpful and advised me to not sign a contract unless I'm 100% sure.

My course starts in a month and the uni wants me to reply on whether I want the room on campus within a week. So basically all I can do right now is NOTHING. This fascinates me.

Other than that I have some amazing African and Indian decoration items. Thanks to my Mum we do have some rare and interesting antiques. I'm still thinking about how to make my room look. I'm used to an empty and clean style and apparently huge changes in colours and amount of things that are visible when you walk into your own room could fuck up your mind. Somehow I take this seriously. One thing I want to avoid is living in a rather dark room.

Here are some of the pieces anyway... and I'm not sure about the lamp and how it would interact with the rest.

When I picture my rather oriental bedding set together with the lamp and the colourful candle holders, it seems to work. Not sure on adding my wooden statues then...